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March 9, 2008
Song of the Day
After a shitty night, it was Sunday. I woke up and saw Muks and Bankbug cuddling. Also she made some weird noises when she slept. We were going to see some old shit. I got up and showered my privates and came out and Muks and Bankbug were gone. Cheeser, Stinky Tits, and I went on to the museum by ourselves. Mr. Incredible stayed to make sure our hotel room was cleaned. We went to look at some of Tastee's old shit. He had a lot of bunga bunga shit, and some ballbags on torsos. Muks and Bankbug caught up with us there, then disappeared again. I especially enjoyed the modern art section, but nobody else did. We saw some of Pollack's best work. Did you know he had an IQ of 86? Cheeser told me this so it had to be true, because if anybody knows anything about IQ tests, its Cheeser.
After looking at all that old shit we went to the Night at the Museum place. On the way through Central Park there was a pissed off black man. Dick van Dyke wasn't being a janitor that day so he must've been off. We was hungry so we went to et. My 13 dollars went a long way. I got a cold burger and some cold fries. Don't worry though not everything was cold. My coke was warm. Then a baby started crying behind me. It didn't get any better than that.
I learned some great truths in this museum. First of all, Al Gore is an idiot. The earth is 20 billion years old. Then we went and looked at how big shit was relative to other shit, and Cheeser would not stop farting. I politely asked him to close his ass. Now I didn't give a fucking fuck about Siberian people, so I went straight to the pidder, the walrus, and of course my favorite part, the birds. Also there was some reptiles there. Stuff was hard to find in this museum, especially Muks and Bankbug.
Then Cheeser and Stinky Tits wanted to go to the Empire State Building. I had other shit to do, so I did it. I rode the subway to the Port Authority Station then went through Times Square and took a picture of the recruiting station. Then I walked by Grand Central Station and the Chrysler building on the way back to the hotel.
In Times Square Muks called me upset that we had ditched him. Apparently he called everyone a few times but none of us had any missed calls. Then we went to Toys R Us and I got a little foot and some wrestling figures. Cheeser got his picture tooken with the dinosaur and was rate ret they didn't have dragon ball z shit. The new Geoffrey was shit. Muks and Bankbug caught up with us and we met a Spiderman impersonator. We thought he was the real spiderman, but he tried charging us for a pic with him. The real spiderman doesnt charge for pictures. We decided to eat at Bubba Gump. At Bubba Gump we had a pleasant conversation about the trip so far, then we ate really shitty food. The hush pups are fucking horrible, and the Slaw isnt very Slawy at all. Then we went outside and saw the Naked Cowboy. Then we walked back to the hotel
Now it was my turn to fuck up on the directions, and I walked us the wrong way. Oops. We went back to the hotel. Then Muks and I went and got us some pizzas. We saw a nice mural in Abitino's featuring Ozzy Osbourne, Mick Jagger, Captain Hook, and the Phantom. Nothing was on there, so Cheeser and I decided to play some soccer. Cheeser fouled me and got red carded, but then I headbutted him and was redcarded as well. The match ended. I was drunk so me and Muks went out in the middle of the night to see some shit. We walked to Empire State Building then we rode the subway to somewhere and went to WTC. Also we went to see the nice girls, but they were working again. They offered us a free DVD. Nice girls. Then we went back to Grand Central and a cop told us to leave. Thats all I remember.
